Are you looking for a roadmap to steer you out of your triggers?

Or are you trying to find ways to get free from feeling overwhelmed, shamed or shut down?

Register for the Becoming Safely Embodied Self-Study Course!

One of the great difficulties with stress, trauma, relationships, and underlying attachment issues, is we are left confused, disoriented, and lost - uncertain in which direction to go. 

Worst of all, we don’t feel comfortable in our own bodies, hearts, and minds. 

Maybe you’ve had that experience as well? 

Most of us want to make sense of what's going on.

We want to stop feeling bad.

We want ways to calm our body, relax our nervous system, and feel safe in our own skin. 

Everyone healing trauma or attachment issues feels disorganized and/or confused. For many, this kind of disorientation continues to happen until we learn how to sort out all the varied pieces of our inner world.

That’s what the Becoming Safely Embodied Skills are all about: 

  •  freeing yourself from triggers
  •  organizing what’s confusing and disorienting 
  •  making sense of what's going on inside

...so you can live the satisfying and fulfilling life you want to live

If you are looking for answers, the Becoming Safely Embodied Self-Study Course might be what you are looking for

"Get better faster...."

Years ago, when I first designed and created the Becoming Safely Embodied Skills™ Groups, my colleague, Janina Fisher, referred all her clients to the group. 

She said her clients "get better faster" when they take the group. 

I want the same for you. 

I want you to have the experience of calming your body, soothing your heart, and training your mind to go where you want it to go instead of where your history propels you. 

Healing from life's difficulties is hard. That’s true.  

It takes longer than any of us would ever want it to.

The Becoming Safely Embodied Skills™ are practices to help you do exactly what the name suggests: become safely embodied 

"Thanks for your helpful re-cap of the steps you take to stay calm and centered and your emphasis on practice, so that it all comes naturally in times of distress. 

I got so much out of the BSE Course, and continue to find so much comfort in your newsletter. I really appreciate your personal experience and how you deal with it. " ~ Mary, Dallas, USA



How I came up with all this - The Background Story

Before my trauma memories came up I was living a really active life, in my body all the time, cycling about 250 miles a week in the mountains and hills of the Berkshires, doing yoga and meditation every day, swimming 4-5 times a week intensively, and running every day. I loved it. Loved being in my body.

That all changed when those memories came up. It was like I hit a brick wall, no longer wanting to do anything. In fact I was running away from being anywhere near my body. Where before I enjoyed the ease that came being active or deep in meditation I now encountered a cesspool when I slowed down and tried to go inside. I felt like a burn victim – my skin raw, no longer holding back the roiling, overwhelming, inflamed experience that I lived in inside. It was horrible. 

Over the years I had great therapy from some wonderful therapists. They helped me put the pieces together again. 

I found, though, that as wonderful as my therapists were, there were many, many, sometimes torturous hours between each therapy session. I battled with myself daily, trying to figure out what the heck was going on and how I could find my way through. I went back to the basics I learned while living at Kripalu and applying the yogic principles of how to be in the body. 

The sum of all my years of healing became the Becoming Safely Embodied Skills™.

I launched my first group in the Boston area in the late 1990’s. Over the years I’ve had at least one group a year. Then as the demand grew I frequently had multiple groups happening at the same time, often with the help of Janina Fisher who co-led groups with me. 

It was a joy to see people getting the help they were looking for – and getting better as a result of the skills and the work they were doing with their individual therapist. 

Since then I’ve gotten phone calls and emails from people wanting to know if a group was near them. Many people are lucky to find therapists throughout the U.S., Canada, Ireland, the UK,and beyond who have been trained to lead the Becoming Safely Embodied™ groups. I get emails from many of you and I’m moved by the stories of your healing. 

Yet, there are others who don’t have Becoming Safely Embodied™ groups nearby, or for whom the times don’t work or it’s too threatening to go to a group where your professional cover might be breached. 


"You know, Deirdre your words, ‘we are deliberately and consciously changing our lives’ gave me the hope that life could be different. 

Then I practiced the BSE skills and experienced how that happened in my own life. 

To experience change like this is a miracle." 

~Alison (UK) 


Dr. Frank Corrigan

Neuroscientist, Author, Researcher


Practice at Your Own Pace

Simple practices make the concepts applicable to your life, in ways that work for you. No rush. No agenda, except to help you find a way through. 

Make Sense of the Mess Inside

Our inner world can be confusing. The BSE skills help untangle that.

Take Manageable Steps

Deconstruct difficult, confusing overwhelm into small, manageable steps to allow healing to naturally emerge

You are NOT stuck

All beings are designed to grow and develop. Difficulty can help us grow-- IF we know how to work with it. That's what the BSE skills are for.

Research-Based

Uses important research from trauma as the foundation for experiential learning

Practical, Concrete Skills

Learn simple, easy-to-apply skills to use in everyday life to support the healing of trauma and to repair attachment wounds

"I received your latest newsletter and was reminded of the massive shift you helped me with about 5 years ago. I was on your BSE online course, used the materials. It truly was a revelation that my body had sensations, which were different from emotions- I still come back to this in my life now. 

I still struggle from time to time, but life is so much better than it was. So much better. We do recover. 

Thanks again for your inspiring and life-changing work."

~Wayne, (UK)

Becoming Safely Embodied Self-Study Course with Deirdre Fay, LICSW

Training Based On Research

We've learned a great deal over the years as the research base has grown on treating trauma and attachment wounding. That knowledge- and its easy to apply skills - form the basis of this course.

Learn from the inside out

The facts and the research provide the ground in which deeper wisdom arises. We access it through the body, learning the signals and the guidance that comes from within after synthesizing all forms of mental, emotional, psychological data. This makes for a richer, more comprehensive understanding. 

 Topics We'll Cover 

  • Why mindfulness, concentration, and self-compassion are the foundational skills for healing trauma
  • The basic building blocks that organize the inner world
  • How to deconstruct triggers
  • Time Boundaries & Time Zones: the present moment and how we get dislodged and dislocated in time and space 
  • Belongingness and how that creates a healing environment  
  • The simple way to be in the present
  • Ways to calm your body and ease your mind

Grow & Develop

One of my goals, always, is to find the next easy step for you to take. 

When we make life a struggle, or it's too big a step to take, all kinds of resistances, fears, and frustrations come up. 

Make Sense of Your Inner World 

Instead of life being confusing or chaotic, people and events will start to make more sense as you practice the BSE skills. 

Make the healing process more granular, and it's easier to grow, develop and flourish. 

"I''m going through the material (again), reading my own comments and thinking OMG! I've come so far! I'm sure I'll have times of overwhelm again but right now I can see how much I've changed. Pretty incredible."

 ~ Alfred, (Singapore) 


"I was re-watching one of the videos from the course, finding them so helpful in making sense of what happens. I had such a strong feeling of, yes, that's exactly the chaotic horrible states I keep falling into over and over...it's just like that. 

Anyway it helped me calm down seeing it so clearly depicted!"

 ~ Teresa, (New York) 

Modules: Becoming Safely Embodied Self-Study Course

Module 1. What the Heck’s Going On In There? 

Learn how your history effects your body, mind, heart, and soul. Gain perspective and organize inner chaos. 

Most of us, when overwhelmed by life get jumbled inside, making it feel like a big mess. We can’t slow down our mind, our thoughts race, our bodies, well, it’s usually our nerves, feel like they are going to explode out of our skin. Or we feel like the only recourse is to shut down, crawl into our beds and not come out again. 

This module explores the basic building blocks of each moment of our inner world...to untangle and clarify our experience...so we can feel grounded and steady.. 


 Module 2. Separating Facts From Feelings

What creates chaos? Why do we get disorganized? What control do we have over the process?  

With an understanding of some of the basic brain functions, we’ll explore how to create more internal space and how you can put a wedge into experiences that numb or overwhelm you. 

This skill is one you'll use over and over again.

Module 3. Dealing with Our Parallel Lives: identifying and calming triggers 

This is one of the skills people tell me they use over and over again: learning how to deconstruct the triggering that happens. One of the most painful realities is when you get triggered, when you’re catapulted into fear, terror, panic, or have to numb against something. 

As you use the Parallel Lives to map out your internal psychological territory you’ll find yourself less prone to being ambushed. 


Module 4. Working with Parts of Ourselves 

A helpful tool to understanding your internal psychology is to develop abiding and integrating relationships with the various parts of you that are holding different perspectives, interests, memories, all holding a positive intent to protect, serve, and guard against painful internal and external intrusions. 

The more we are able to do that the more we can sit in our true nature: calm, compassionate, kind, considerate, caring, thoughtful. The positive qualities are endless and worthy of cultivating. 


Module 5. Carving Out a New Path: Finding Choice Points 

Here's the best news! You are NOT stuck. You can shift the path you're on. 

This module in the Becoming Safely Embodied™ Course helps you learn to go where you want to go instead of being propelled into the same old mess by your history. 


BONUS Module: Letting Go of the Old Stories & Finding a More Nurturing Way to Live

Have you ever heard yourself talking about something in your life and it feels like you’ve said it so many times? It’s like a story that has got more juice the more you’ve told it. 

Well, this section of the course is about releasing those old stories and finding new stories that are motivating and propel you into the life you want. 


"It's really interesting to do a safely embodied course online! This is definitely different for me and yet it's changing me module by module. Being part of the group meditations, without knowing others, is something I would never have done before. It's remarkable how connected I feel to so many people all over the world, while also feeling safe to have my own self experience. You create a rather extrodinary safety to be present and authentic. Feeling the connection to others even though I was on my own made me feel less alone, even reassured. Thank you."

~Carl, participant in BSE online course (Australia)


"Thanks for your very thoughtful course. I appreciate the insight and great care with which you respond. The course has made the world of difference in getting unstuck. Practicing the skills I am less triggered and more able to enjoy being in the world. Helps me realize none of us are alone with it. Much to ponder and be grateful for."

~Mary, participant in BSE online course (USA)


Here's what you get when you register for the Becoming Safely Embodied Self-Study Course... 

when you register you'll receive immediate access to all the course material. 

It's not just the conceptual learning but the intangible felt experience of knowing your journey is important and we're here to help.

"...the skills are so simple...but their depth reaches into places in myself I never knew I had..." 

Video with Psychotherapist Dr. Liz Hall: "The BSE Skills have transformed my work..."

Here's what you get with the BSE Course

Audios & Videos Make Concepts More Understandable

Each module gets to the heart of the skill, designed to help you to understand and use the material. 

These videos are designed to take complicated information and make it easy to understand -- and better yet, easy to apply!



BSE Course Downloads

Many course lessons feature downloads and handouts to help you make the skills your own. 

Having downloads and handouts allows you to learn in another way, further internalizing the information - making it accessible when you really need it.

Group Wisdom

Your questions and comments spark other people’s questions and as a whole group we learn and develop together. I want to give you the support to put the skills to work in your life.

Self-paced

You’ll get the entire Becoming Safely Embodied™ Skills Course delivered to you promptly upon registration. There's no rush to get it done. You’ll be able to work on it when it works for you. Although the course videos themselves require an internet connection, there are many downloadable materials available (pdfs; audio files). The course itself will be available to you for two years.  

My goal is to help you learn the skills, apply them to your life, and have the life you want.  

Take advantage of this healing opportunity


Learn what Deirdre has learned from teaching these skills to thousands of people across the globe who have turned debilitating trauma symptoms into a better life. 

Unlock your healing potential through simple, practical, skills that will reorganize what doesn't work, giving you more room for what you want. 

Gifts you get when you join the BSE

a recording of a self-compassion online retreat Deirdre led recently

7 Moments: short video practices to take you through the week


My go-to practice that I use every day...



How to Register for Course...  

The Becoming Safely Embodied Self-Study Course is already ready for you to start! We've got all the course material waiting for you in our private course training portal. It has been honed by years and years of customer feedback which we take very seriously.

"...having the next thing I could do when I felt triggered in manageable segments helped a lot. Knowing I could choose something at a length of even 10-15 minutes was really helpful. .... Short segments really contributed to my sense of empowerment and security." ~ Sara

The course material is there for you when you have time. You're always welcome to download the audios and handouts.

Plus, you have the course portal to explore, ask questions, hear from others, and keep your inquiry alive. Support for the practices make a difference!

Registration Information

Becoming Safely Embodied Self-Study Course

One-time payment
$497

OR

Payment Plan
$173 per month for 3 months
($519 total)

Click here to register now,
with a one-time payment!


A Word From Deirdre Fay

"One of the great joys of my life has been to walk with people on a gentle path to healing. Combining the best of trauma and attachment theory with practical skills makes a solid platform. But when you add the nourishment of yoga psychology and body awareness you open an even bigger portal for healing."